“Iâm inspired by stories and aesthetics. I am vain and maybe a tad narcissistic. My deepest fears come from the feelings of not good enough. One of those fears is being naive. Am i missing something?
On sexuality and aesthetics: I am gay for the most part, but I donât think about it too much. It is really easy to love sex, so why be proud of it? I like to look at human bodies. I am obsessed. I love checking out lips and butts and proportions of EVERYONE. Perhaps my enthusiasm about butts comes from not having much of one. I think that art should be purely aesthetic. I donât like staunch stances on anything but that is one thing I am adamant about. I am a pure Greenbergian. I believe that that is where we are in our aesthetic and philosophical lineage in history. This idea drives me bonkers. express yourself how you like but keep your art focused on aesthetics. In everything else, the truth is somewhere in the middle.
On anxiety: Iâm a fairly happy person now. Any darkness comes from not feeling good enough and that feeling manifests in social anxiety sometimes. Thatâs normal. That, coupled with my lifelong obsession with aesthetics, lends well to having had eating disorders since I was eleven. I have spent and still spend a lot of time in bathrooms. eating disorders donât go away so you have to learn to live with it and try not be ashamed. I donât think about it too much. Iâll share about it if someone asks and if they wonât be scared.
One of my favourite things to do is chill on the bed with my dog BB. Heâs my little angel. I miss my bed sometimes when Iâm away from it. “
– Eileen
When I walked into this session and get to know Eileen a little in depth, I felt a sense of gloominess, yet inspired. May be it was because of the winter cloudy day. Make up, hair do, lingerie, or any kind of typical posing technique used on a typical boudoir shoot, it just doesn’t work, simply because that is not Eileen. She is way charmer than that. The best way to showcase Eileen would be letting her be herself,  slowly guiding her through movement that belongs to her, and simply … hang out. No big agenda, no so called “empowerment”, just Eileen herself, as simple as it should be.
(Music credit: Bubblegum -Â Cigarettes After Sex)
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